The whole time I worked. I used my maiden name. I was never referred to a Mrs anything, and certainly not Ms I always signed my name with my full maiden name. Not that I am in the least ashamed of my married name, it is after all a good Cornish name, but I have always been wholly independent and to some extent still am. Having said that, now that I am about to celebrate 50 years of licensed bliss (most of it) I am very happy to be sharing it with John. He has never once felt in the least concerned about the way I used my name or my continued independence, it has always remained a partnership, albeit a silent one on his part. <vbg> I think I should add that John is not in the least hen-pecked or brow-beaten.
Joan F (MI) wrote: > What about Mr says partner? It's Mr. before and Mr. after. While Mrs. was > Miss X before and Mrs. Y after. You don't seem to understand the difference > between the relationship and the labelling.
> jingles wrote: > | So you didn't see Mr and Mrs as a partnership? > | jingles > | > |
> What about Mr says partner? It's Mr. before and Mr. after. While Mrs. > was > Miss X before and Mrs. Y after. You don't seem to understand the > difference > between the relationship and the labelling.
> jingles wrote: > | So you didn't see Mr and Mrs as a partnership? > | jingles > |
Jinglrs Joan knows everything the viper in her is from being a tax collector
I was 18 when I got married in 1954 and changed my name, at that time no one even thought about keeping their maiden name. When I got divorced 21 years later I decided not to change back as I had been Fahlgren longer than I had been Juckniess, and I had four children who were Fahlgrens. Either one has to be spelled for people.
Bobbie wrote:
| The whole time I worked. I used my maiden name. I was never referred | to a Mrs anything, and certainly not Ms I always signed my name with | my full maiden name. Not that I am in the least ashamed of my married | name, it is after all a good Cornish name, but I have always been | wholly independent and to some extent still am. Having said that, now | that I am about to celebrate 50 years of licensed bliss (most of it) | I am very happy to be sharing it with John. He has never once felt in | the least concerned about the way I used my name or my continued | independence, it has always remained a partnership, albeit a silent | one on his part. <vbg> I think I should add that John is not in the | least hen-pecked or brow-beaten. | | Bobbie | | | Joan F (MI) wrote: || What about Mr says partner? It's Mr. before and Mr. after. While || Mrs. was Miss X before and Mrs. Y after. You don't seem to || understand the difference between the relationship and the labelling. ||
|| jingles wrote:
||| So you didn't see Mr and Mrs as a partnership? ||| jingles
We're not talking about knowing anything, we're talking about how we feel. Way different things. And these were my feelings long before my tax career which began after my divorce.
Normandy wrote:
||| | Jinglrs Joan knows everything the viper in her is from being a tax | collector
Em, I can see that might be a deterrent. Both very different and unique names. My maiden name was very Scottish, my married name is very Cornish. My other name is International
Joan F (MI) wrote: > I was 18 when I got married in 1954 and changed my name, at that time no one > even thought about keeping their maiden name. When I got divorced 21 years > later I decided not to change back as I had been Fahlgren longer than I had > been Juckniess, and I had four children who were Fahlgrens. Either one has > to be spelled for people.
> Bobbie wrote: > | The whole time I worked. I used my maiden name. I was never referred > | to a Mrs anything, and certainly not Ms I always signed my name with > | my full maiden name. Not that I am in the least ashamed of my married > | name, it is after all a good Cornish name, but I have always been > | wholly independent and to some extent still am. Having said that, now > | that I am about to celebrate 50 years of licensed bliss (most of it) > | I am very happy to be sharing it with John. He has never once felt in > | the least concerned about the way I used my name or my continued > | independence, it has always remained a partnership, albeit a silent > | one on his part. <vbg> I think I should add that John is not in the > | least hen-pecked or brow-beaten. > | > | Bobbie > | > | > | Joan F (MI) wrote: > || What about Mr says partner? It's Mr. before and Mr. after. While > || Mrs. was Miss X before and Mrs. Y after. You don't seem to > || understand the difference between the relationship and the labelling. > || > || jingles wrote: > ||| So you didn't see Mr and Mrs as a partnership? > ||| jingles
> We're not talking about knowing anything, we're talking about how we feel. > Way different things. And these were my feelings long before my tax > career > which began after my divorce.
On Nov 6, 6:47 pm, AriesVal <valerie.copel...@invalidgmail.com> wrote:
> On Thu, 06 Nov 2008 14:11:50 +1100, jingles wrote: > > So you didn't see Mr and Mrs as a partnership? > > jingles
> > Joan F (MI) wrote: > >> [19 quoted lines suppressed]
> Now a partnership I understand but by being called by my husband's name is > not a partnership in my opinion. > -- > "Some cause happiness wherever they go; > others, whenever they go." > - Oscar Wildehttp://valerie.aries.googlepages.com/ariesval
In France, I am known by my maiden name, my Father's name. All official documents are thus signed, it feels quite odd though as I have not used that name for so long.
I understand perfectly. As for the labelling it is Mr AND Mrs.....equal partners..... jingles
Joan F (MI) wrote: > What about Mr says partner? It's Mr. before and Mr. after. While Mrs. was > Miss X before and Mrs. Y after. You don't seem to understand the difference > between the relationship and the labelling.
> jingles wrote: > | So you didn't see Mr and Mrs as a partnership? > | jingles > | > |
AriesVal wrote: > On Thu, 06 Nov 2008 09:54:20 +1100, jingles wrote:
>> AriesVal wrote: >>> [16 quoted lines suppressed] >> I never looked upon myself as an appendage or a subservient member in a >> marriage....we were partners. I guess it is all in the way you look at it. >> jingles
> well when you consider that after I married I was not allowed a shopping > card by a well known store without my husband's signature when any single > woman would be given one without question. I was a working woman not a stay > at home housewife but still not consider a whole person in my own right. > That is what I call being 'owned' and an appendage :(
I can see where you are coming from, but I never had these problems. I know when we applied for a housing loan, my salary was not taken into consideration - the repayments had to be no more than 25% of the husband's wages, but I did have one of the first Credit Cards that were issued by the bank, because I owned a small business. My husband was not eligible for one <grin> jingles
> On Nov 6, 6:47 pm, AriesVal <valerie.copel...@invalidgmail.com> wrote: >> On Thu, 06 Nov 2008 14:11:50 +1100, jingles wrote: >> > So you didn't see Mr and Mrs as a partnership? >> > jingles
>> > Joan F (MI) wrote: >> >> [19 quoted lines suppressed]
>> Now a partnership I understand but by being called by my husband's name >> is >> not a partnership in my opinion. >> -- >> "Some cause happiness wherever they go; >> others, whenever they go." >> - Oscar Wildehttp://valerie.aries.googlepages.com/ariesval
> In France, I am known by my maiden name, my Father's name. All > official documents are thus signed, it feels quite odd though as I > have not used that name for so long.
> Judith
nee? My mother's maiden name is on all oficial documents
> On Thu, 6 Nov 2008 12:53:19 -0800 (PST), Judith in France wrote:
>> On Nov 6, 6:47 pm, AriesVal <valerie.copel...@invalidgmail.com> wrote: >>> [13 quoted lines suppressed]
>> In France, I am known by my maiden name, my Father's name. All >> official documents are thus signed, it feels quite odd though as I >> have not used that name for so long.
>> Judith
> I like that idea. It's the same in Spain I believe. The wife of my > eldest > nephew has kept her maiden name - good for her! > -- > Weakness of attitiude becomes > weakness of character. > Albert Einstein > http://ariesval.co.uk/val/
My wide uses her maiden name. She was orn Ann Sinclair and uses that name now
AriesVal wrote: > On Fri, 07 Nov 2008 10:28:10 +1100, jingles wrote:
>> AriesVal wrote: >>> [10 quoted lines suppressed] >> Do you consider it denigrating then? >> jingles
> Not sur, but whatever you call it I find it bloody annoying and I just hate > it. I feel 'owned' and not an individual.
I feel equally annoyed when a salesperson, insists on talking to the man of the house. That ends the sale for me. They deal with me or not at all. When I recently went to look at new cars, the salesman there said to me, we can arrange for your 'hubby' to come in for a test drive. LOL I was outa there I can tell you. It isn't always the case. The next showroom couldn't have been more accommodating. What is more they were more than ready to discuss part exchange which surprised me. I got my test drive and not once way made to feel like the little woman. I find that most gratifying, not only for my gender but for my age. So many will either treat you as if your were invisible or too infirm to drive. I think it depends on how assertive one is. I think I am pretty assertive.
> "Normandy" <aab...@wanadoo.fr> wrote: > "Joan F (MI)" <jjf...@removethisameritech.net> wrote: >> > jingles wrote: >> > | So you didn't see Mr and Mrs as a partnership? >> > | jingles >> > | >> > What about Mr says partner? It's Mr. before and Mr. after. While >> > Mrs. was Miss X before and Mrs. Y after. You don't seem to >> > understand the difference between the relationship and the labelling.
>> Jinglrs Joan knows everything the viper in her is from being a tax >> collector
> So where did _your_ viper come from? You seem to think that > you know it all, as well...
> -- > AnneJ
My my what a differnce you project in off group correspondence and on group some may say two faced. This group was gentile before its invasion I have not inention of turning it into another brawl. I do not know you or do I want to
> > On Nov 6, 6:47 pm, AriesVal <valerie.copel...@invalidgmail.com> wrote: > >> On Thu, 06 Nov 2008 14:11:50 +1100, jingles wrote: > >> > So you didn't see Mr and Mrs as a partnership? > >> > jingles
> >> > Joan F (MI) wrote: > >> >> [19 quoted lines suppressed]
> >> Now a partnership I understand but by being called by my husband's name > >> is > >> not a partnership in my opinion. > >> -- > >> "Some cause happiness wherever they go; > >> others, whenever they go." > >> - Oscar Wildehttp://valerie.aries.googlepages.com/ariesval
> > In France, I am known by my maiden name, my Father's name. All > > official documents are thus signed, it feels quite odd though as I > > have not used that name for so long.
> > Judith
> nee? My mother's maiden name is on all oficial documents
I won't put my maiden name on group Sinclair, it's a well known noble name and some would have great fun when they realised who my family are. I think you already know what I am talking about so we will leave it there. I have your email in my in-box and I will reply later, It's good to see you posting again, we were worried for a while although your Ann and Hannah were always optimistic when they emailed me.
On Nov 7, 7:59 am, AriesVal <valerie.copel...@invalidgmail.com> wrote:
> On Fri, 07 Nov 2008 10:28:10 +1100, jingles wrote: > > AriesVal wrote: > >> [10 quoted lines suppressed]
> > Do you consider it denigrating then? > > jingles
> Not sur, but whatever you call it I find it bloody annoying and I just hate > it. I feel 'owned' and not an individual. > -- > "How people treat you is their karma; > how you react is yours"http://valerie.aries.googlepages.com/ariesval
I can see what you mean there Val, I did tell my husband recently that he didn't give my father 10 oxen for me, that I may be Mummy and Mrs but I am also me, Judith, I have no objection to being called Mrs or Lady or Miss or whatever but I do object, at times, when I feel that I lose my identity.
>>> On Nov 6, 6:47 pm, AriesVal <valerie.copel...@invalidgmail.com> wrote: >>>> On Thu, 06 Nov 2008 14:11:50 +1100, jingles wrote: >>>>> So you didn't see Mr and Mrs as a partnership? >>>>> jingles >>>>> Joan F (MI) wrote: >>>>>> [19 quoted lines suppressed] >>>> Now a partnership I understand but by being called by my husband's name >>>> is >>>> not a partnership in my opinion. >>>> -- >>>> "Some cause happiness wherever they go; >>>> others, whenever they go." >>>> - Oscar Wildehttp://valerie.aries.googlepages.com/ariesval >>> In France, I am known by my maiden name, my Father's name. All >>> official documents are thus signed, it feels quite odd though as I >>> have not used that name for so long. >>> Judith >> nee? My mother's maiden name is on all oficial documents
> I won't put my maiden name on group Sinclair, it's a well known noble > name and some would have great fun when they realised who my family > are. I think you already know what I am talking about so we will > leave it there. I have your email in my in-box and I will reply > later, It's good to see you posting again, we were worried for a while > although your Ann and Hannah were always optimistic when they emailed > me.
> Judith
Good Lord you are a Windsor? On your knees folks, We have Royalty among us.
Judith in France wrote: > On Nov 7, 7:59 am, AriesVal <valerie.copel...@invalidgmail.com> wrote: >> On Fri, 07 Nov 2008 10:28:10 +1100, jingles wrote: >>> AriesVal wrote: >>>> [10 quoted lines suppressed] >>> Do you consider it denigrating then? >>> jingles >> Not sur, but whatever you call it I find it bloody annoying and I just hate >> it. I feel 'owned' and not an individual. >> -- >> "How people treat you is their karma; >> how you react is yours"http://valerie.aries.googlepages.com/ariesval
> I can see what you mean there Val, I did tell my husband recently that > he didn't give my father 10 oxen for me, that I may be Mummy and Mrs > but I am also me, Judith, I have no objection to being called Mrs or > Lady or Miss or whatever but I do object, at times, when I feel that I > lose my identity.
> Judith
Stamp your feet Judith make him get you that dryer, and for goodness sake stop letting people talk for you.
Yes, that attitude is sooooo archaic, so many women are financially independent now. I'm surprised that guy hasn't learned the lesson by now. When I ordered my Fit my order had to be approved by the sales manager but not because I was a woman, it was because there was a wait of several months and they already had quite a waiting list. Indeed it was a little over six months before I got the one I wanted. I didn't get a test drive as they didn't even have one on the showroom floor, in fact when I said I would really like just to sit in one before buying it the salesman went and got his girlfriend's Fit which happened to be in for service and brought it around in front so I could sit it in.
Bobbie wrote:
| | I feel equally annoyed when a salesperson, insists on talking to the | man of the house. That ends the sale for me. They deal with me or not | at all. When I recently went to look at new cars, the salesman there | said to me, we can arrange for your 'hubby' to come in for a test | drive. LOL I was outa there I can tell you. It isn't always the case. | The next showroom couldn't have been more accommodating. What is more | they were more than ready to discuss part exchange which surprised | me. I got my test drive and not once way made to feel like the little | woman. I find that most gratifying, not only for my gender but for my | age. So many will either treat you as if your were invisible or too | infirm to drive. I think it depends on how assertive one is. I think | I am pretty assertive. | | Bobbie
What a coincidence, the one I drove belonged to a member of staff too, and despite a lull in car sales generally the Jazz is very much in demand. I haven't made up my mind as yet but I do like it, and it has everything I want. For running around it is perfect, and at a push I can get the dogs in, (not that I really want to) but even that isn't vital since we do have the Toyota, but I would have to wait too.
Joan F (MI) wrote: > Yes, that attitude is sooooo archaic, so many women are financially > independent now. I'm surprised that guy hasn't learned the lesson by now. > When I ordered my Fit my order had to be approved by the sales manager but > not because I was a woman, it was because there was a wait of several months > and they already had quite a waiting list. Indeed it was a little over six > months before I got the one I wanted. I didn't get a test drive as they > didn't even have one on the showroom floor, in fact when I said I would > really like just to sit in one before buying it the salesman went and got > his girlfriend's Fit which happened to be in for service and brought it > around in front so I could sit it in.
> Bobbie wrote: > | > | I feel equally annoyed when a salesperson, insists on talking to the > | man of the house. That ends the sale for me. They deal with me or not > | at all. When I recently went to look at new cars, the salesman there > | said to me, we can arrange for your 'hubby' to come in for a test > | drive. LOL I was outa there I can tell you. It isn't always the case. > | The next showroom couldn't have been more accommodating. What is more > | they were more than ready to discuss part exchange which surprised > | me. I got my test drive and not once way made to feel like the little > | woman. I find that most gratifying, not only for my gender but for my > | age. So many will either treat you as if your were invisible or too > | infirm to drive. I think it depends on how assertive one is. I think > | I am pretty assertive. > | > | Bobbie
> Yes, that attitude is sooooo archaic, so many women are financially > independent now. I'm surprised that guy hasn't learned the lesson by now. > When I ordered my Fit my order had to be approved by the sales manager but > not because I was a woman, it was because there was a wait of several > months > and they already had quite a waiting list. Indeed it was a little over > six > months before I got the one I wanted. I didn't get a test drive as they > didn't even have one on the showroom floor, in fact when I said I would > really like just to sit in one before buying it the salesman went and got > his girlfriend's Fit which happened to be in for service and brought it > around in front so I could sit it in.
|
