Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign ignorance that the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with the girls?"
All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male review. Her answer was no. But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the guys) was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't enough.
Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" by this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her ask if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her heart it wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it in a bad direction.
TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote: > Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign ignorance that > the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
> So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with the > girls?"
> All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... > I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male review. Her > answer was no. > But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
> This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she > needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the guys) > was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't enough.
> Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" by > this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her ask > if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her heart it > wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it in a > bad direction.
TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote: > Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign ignorance that > the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
> So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with the > girls?"
> All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... > I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male review. Her > answer was no. > But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
> This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she > needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the guys) > was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't enough.
> Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" by > this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her ask > if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her heart it > wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it in a > bad direction.
> What to do, what to do?
Easy, be honest with her and if that doesn't get you anywhere, decide whether or not (all things considered not just this argument) you are happy/satisfied with the relationship, would be satisfied if both of you worked toward making each other happy, or not.
Sounds like there's a lot of unnecessry drama in your relationship.
TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote: > Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign ignorance that > the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
> So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with the > girls?"
> All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... > I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male review. Her > answer was no. > But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
> This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she > needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the guys) > was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't enough.
> Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" by > this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her ask > if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her heart it > wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it in a > bad direction.
TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote: > Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign ignorance that > the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
> So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with the > girls?"
> All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... > I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male review. Her > answer was no. > But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
> This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she > needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the guys) > was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't enough.
> Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" by > this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her ask > if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her heart it > wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it in a > bad direction.
> What to do, what to do?
They do that because they're insecure in the relationship or just want a bit of reassurance....kind of like fishing for a compliment. Nearly all women do it. You need to get over it or get out.
TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote: > Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" by > this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her ask > if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her heart it > wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it in a > bad direction.
> What to do, what to do?
If you want to avoid drama or arguments all the time, oen way is to ignore them when they come up. Or just do something sily and change the topic. Imagine it was a 4 year old asking you the question.
(Mind you that's not 100%, but ti works a lot, especially when it's just dumb stuff or her being moody. Of course if her best friend died don't wave her off).
<iamtj4l...@gmail.com> wrote: > On Nov 4, 12:42 pm, Ron Blancarte <r...@---
> TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote: > > Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign ignorance that > > the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
> > So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with the > > girls?"
> > All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... > > I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male review. Her > > answer was no. > > But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
> > This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she > > needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the guys) > > was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't enough.
> > Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" by > > this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her ask > > if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her heart it > > wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it in a > > bad direction.
> > What to do, what to do?
> Would you rather be "right" or alone?- Hide quoted text -
> - Show quoted text -
Shi'ite, you can be married *and* alone. 'Sayin...
> Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign > ignorance that > the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
> So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with the > girls?"
> All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... > I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male > review. Her > answer was no. > But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
> This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she > needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the > guys) > was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't > enough.
> Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" > by > this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her > ask > if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her > heart it > wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it > in a > bad direction.
> What to do, what to do?
I have to point out though that you failed to post your answer about how you felt about her going. Having said that, if you want women in your life then get used to situations like this one and adjust accordingly.
TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote: > Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign ignorance that > the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
> So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with the > girls?"
> All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... > I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male review. Her > answer was no. > But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
> This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she > needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the guys) > was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't enough.
> Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" by > this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her ask > if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her heart it > wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it in a > bad direction.
> What to do, what to do?
I'm just glad I'm married to someone who buy into drama...and she's been to a "gentleman's club" more recently than I have. (OK...she went with a friend who was writing a Master's Thesis on the males who attend such clubs...about 15 years ago.) Basically my nights out are at the local VFW post for beers and pizza after basketball.
TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote: > Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign ignorance that > the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
> So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with the > girls?"
> All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... > I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male review. Her > answer was no. > But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
> This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she > needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the guys) > was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't enough.
> Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" by > this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her ask > if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her heart it > wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it in a > bad direction.
> What to do, what to do?
"Lady, if you want an answer, expect me to give you one. End of story."
> Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign > ignorance that > the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
> So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with > the > girls?"
> All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... > I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male > review. Her > answer was no. > But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
> This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all > she > needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the > guys) > was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't > enough.
> Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly > "tested" by > this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told > her ask > if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her > heart it > wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it > in a > bad direction.
> What to do, what to do?
Tell her to drop to her knees and start humming Dixie!!!
-- --MoParMaN-- ---Scud Coordinates 32.61204 North 96.92989 West--- ---Remove "Clothes" to Reply---
TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote: > Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign > ignorance that > the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
> So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with > the > girls?"
> All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... > I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male > review. Her > answer was no. > But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
> This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all > she > needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the > guys) > was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't > enough.
> Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" > by > this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told > her ask > if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her > heart it > wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it > in a > bad direction.
> What to do, what to do?
I'm just glad I'm married to someone who buy into drama...and she's been to a "gentleman's club" more recently than I have. (OK...she went with a friend who was writing a Master's Thesis on the males who attend such clubs...about 15 years ago.) Basically my nights out are at the local VFW post for beers and pizza after basketball.
Jon
I have been in more trouble at a VFW than I ever got into at a teet bar.
-- --MoParMaN-- ---Scud Coordinates 32.61204 North 96.92989 West--- ---Remove "Clothes" to Reply---
>"Ron Blancarte" <r...@---TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote in message >news:g2i3f5h4p7ilo16kfi1pptbqpp5mhvgnte@4ax.com... >> Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign >> ignorance that >> the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
>> So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with the >> girls?"
>> All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... >> I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male >> review. Her >> answer was no. >> But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
>> This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she >> needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the >> guys) >> was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't >> enough.
>> Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" >> by >> this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her >> ask >> if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her >> heart it >> wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it >> in a >> bad direction.
>> What to do, what to do?
>I have to point out though that you failed to post your answer about how you >felt about her going. Having said that, if you want women in your life then >get used to situations like this one and adjust accordingly.
Oh, my answer was that I did not care if she went.
In the end, I am confident enough in her and our relationship that I am not worried about her going off and watching a show of guys taking their clothes off.
But, this is what sparked things. It got turned on its ear that because I am ok with her going that I want/need to do this to. And that isn't true. More to the point, when I do go it is more for the social aspect of male bonding (group of guys) rather than to stare at naked chicks (nice bonus though). But she sees it as some way more, like I have physical needs as a man that are not being met by her.
TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote: > On Wed, 4 Nov 2009 12:56:51 -0600, Kody wrote:
> >"Ron Blancarte" <r...@---TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote in message > >news:g2i3f5h4p7ilo16kfi1pptbqpp5mhvgnte@4ax.com... > >> Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign > >> ignorance that > >> the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
> >> So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with the > >> girls?"
> >> All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... > >> I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male > >> review. Her > >> answer was no. > >> But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
> >> This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she > >> needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the > >> guys) > >> was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't > >> enough.
> >> Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" > >> by > >> this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her > >> ask > >> if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her > >> heart it > >> wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it > >> in a > >> bad direction.
> >> What to do, what to do?
> >I have to point out though that you failed to post your answer about how you > >felt about her going. Having said that, if you want women in your life then > >get used to situations like this one and adjust accordingly.
> Oh, my answer was that I did not care if she went.
> In the end, I am confident enough in her and our relationship that I am not > worried about her going off and watching a show of guys taking their clothes > off.
> But, this is what sparked things. It got turned on its ear that because I am ok > with her going that I want/need to do this to. And that isn't true. More to > the point, when I do go it is more for the social aspect of male bonding (group > of guys) rather than to stare at naked chicks (nice bonus though). But she sees > it as some way more, like I have physical needs as a man that are not being met > by her.- Hide quoted text -
> - Show quoted text -
I may not know much about women, my divorce being exhibit A, but "I don't care" is not the correct answer. Her reaction is proof evident.
I do know many women like it when their men are a bit growly - and I'm willing to bet had you answered "No - I'm not" and then later recognized the hypocrisy of your going with "the guys", all would have been okay.
I also know that many conversations of this nature are NOT about the subject itself. As I think you grok, the convo was really about "Do you find me(her) attractive?". Pretty sure that sweeping her up in your arms and paying attention to her would have alleviated a lot of fuss and turmoil.
One thing I wish I had learned to say while married: "What did you hear me say?"
I do know this - arguing about feelings and emotions is a sure fire losing proposition.
TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote: > Oh, my answer was that I did not care if she went.
> In the end, I am confident enough in her and our relationship that I am not > worried about her going off and watching a show of guys taking their clothes > off.
If you were, even in the slightest, then your relationship has bigger issues than whether or not one of you goes to a strip club.
Still not sure why "her friend" asked her ... I mean, what's the best thing that happens there for anyone involved and the likelihood of that happening?
Why does your girlfriend hang out with girls who "need" to go to the strip club?
> But, this is what sparked things. It got turned on its ear that because I am ok > with her going that I want/need to do this to. And that isn't true. More to > the point, when I do go it is more for the social aspect of male bonding (group > of guys) rather than to stare at naked chicks (nice bonus though). But she sees > it as some way more, like I have physical needs as a man that are not being met > by her.
Something is amiss in your relationship. If you value it, you'll work with her to take care of it. If not, then don't waste the time because it's more comfortable to delay the issue than not.
> "Ron Blancarte" <r...@---TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote in message > news:g2i3f5h4p7ilo16kfi1pptbqpp5mhvgnte@4ax.com... >> Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign ignorance >> that >> the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
>> So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with the >> girls?"
>> All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... >> I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male >> review. Her >> answer was no. >> But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
>> This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she >> needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the >> guys) >> was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't >> enough.
>> Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" >> by >> this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her >> ask >> if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her >> heart it >> wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it in >> a >> bad direction.
>> What to do, what to do?
> I have to point out though that you failed to post your answer about how you > felt about her going. Having said that, if you want women in your life then > get used to situations like this one and adjust accordingly.
I would say that such questions point to larger problems, either with the woman's self esteem, or with the relationship.
<iamtj4l...@gmail.com> wrote: > On Nov 4, 12:42 pm, Ron Blancarte <r...@---
> TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote: > > Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign ignorance that > > the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
> > So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with the > > girls?"
> > All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... > > I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male review. Her > > answer was no. > > But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
> > This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she > > needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the guys) > > was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't enough.
> > Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" by > > this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her ask > > if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her heart it > > wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it in a > > bad direction.
> > What to do, what to do?
I agree with C the Shocker--dump her, she's a bitch.
> All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... > I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male review. Her > answer was no. > But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
> This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she > needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the guys) > was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't enough.
> Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" by > this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her ask > if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her heart it > wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it in a > bad direction.
> What to do, what to do?
Wise up, chump.
-- Does this dress make me look fat? -- You do not need anything to make you look fat.
TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote: > Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign ignorance that > the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
> So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with the > girls?"
> All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... > I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male review. Her > answer was no. > But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
> This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she > needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the guys) > was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't enough.
> Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" by > this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her ask > if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her heart it > wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it in a > bad direction.
> What to do, what to do?
"I told you yes, honey, because I wanted to give you the opportunity to refuse. I wanted to give you the change to really show me how much you loved me. And I'm really proud of you honey, you held yourself back for me, and I really am thankful to have such a wonderful, loyal, honest woman."
> TAKETHISOUT---.blancarte.com> wrote: > > Why do women feel the need to ask loaded questions and then feign ignorance that > > the questions were loaded? And am I making too much out of it?
> > So, the GF asked this: "Would you care if I went to a male review with the > > girls?"
> > All in all, not a loaded question, UNTIL .... > > I found out that she was asked by one of her friends to go to a male review. Her > > answer was no. > > But she asked me anyway to find out how I felt about this.
> > This started an arguement between us because she said that "I was all she > > needed" while me doing the same (IE going to the gentlemen's club w/ the guys) > > was me looking for something more in a women. That her beauty wasn't enough.
> > Anyway, argument has blown up big time. Because I feel unfairly "tested" by > > this trick question, which she is saying wasn't her intention. I told her ask > > if her friends think it is loaded, she won't, because she knows in her heart it > > wasn't. Given that our relationship has had problems this has pushed it in a > > bad direction.
> > What to do, what to do?
> "I told you yes, honey, because I wanted to give you the opportunity > to refuse. I wanted to give you the change to really show me how much > you loved me. And I'm really proud of you honey, you held yourself > back for me, and I really am thankful to have such a wonderful, loyal, > honest woman."
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