Chez Watt Ballot November 5, 2009 - talk.origins

Message from discussion Chez Watt Ballot November 5, 2009

Harvest Dancer

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More options Nov 4 2009, 9:47 pm

Newsgroups: talk.origins

From: Harvest Dancer <harvestdan...@hotmail.com>

Date: Wed, 4 Nov 2009 12:47:52 -0800 (PST)

Local: Wed, Nov 4 2009 9:47 pm

Subject: Chez Watt Ballot November 5, 2009

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Yesterday there was a much less important election. Today there is a
much more important election

You get to vote for the best Chez Watt.

(If admonkey is reading this, you still owe us a Crack Watt ballot and
a Cheezy Watt balllot)

Vote early, vote often, may the best Watt win.

Jason

======

In the category "We don' *need* no steenkin' capitalization,
sweetie!"

>>It was actually in the thread titled something like, "The toe is
>>dying..."

>A discussion of diabetes?

======

n the "Ontogeny Recapitulates Phylogeny" Category:

>> Which makes me wonder -- when did hominids make the leap from using
>> tools for cracking nuts, cutting meat, etc., to using them as
>> defensive (or offensive) weapons?

>Give a bunch of toddlers a plastic hammer each and ask me that question
>again.

======

In the category, can you detail every intermediate step from Lucario
to Arcanine?

> I see your ideas of evolution are approximately at the pokemon stage.

======

In the "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member"
Category:

> I find the best course is to stay away from people who want you in their
> presences.

======

> > >>>>>http://pandasthumb.org/archives/2008/03/whale-evolution.html
> > >>>>> "At the earliest embryonic stages the nasal openings are still
> > >>>>> situated at the rostra tip like those of land mammals; they are
> > >>>>> gradually shifted more and more towards the vertex of the head at
> > >>>>> the
> > >>>>> older stages. At the same time, a long rost rum with narrow jaws
> > >>>>> develops. Until recently, practically nothing was known about the
> > >>>>> morphogenetic processes concealed in this metamorphosis, about what
> > >>>>> cranial structures take part in it, and about the exact way in which
> > >>>>> the cetacean skull becomes transformed during embryogeny. "
> > >>>>> "Whales breathed with more ease when they no longer had to lift a
> > >>>>> snout above water. "
> > >>>>> So what is the reason for this change?

> > >>>> Probably the whales became more fully aquatic, meaning that it was
> > >>>> advantageous for them to have nostrils higher on the skull.

> > >>> How is simply being in water more advantageous to have nostrils
> > >>> farther up on the skull?

> > >> Because the air is *above* the water.

> > > Is everybody is this newsgroup on drugs?
> > > Simply being in water isn't advantageous to have nostrils on the top
> > > of the skull.

> > It is if the top of the skull is the bit nearest the air.

> Then why don't fish have them on top of their heads?

At first I thought he was joking, then I realised he was totally
serious.

======

Under "Better perception through chemistry"

> >> > > > > So... what supernatural thing / process / entity
> >> > > > > are you thinking about which others can see?

> >> > > > Angels.

> >> > > Ah. So... where can I go to see angels?

> >> > > Do I need special imaginary film to take pictures?

> >> > Sharpen your perception skills

> >> In what way are angels detectable, specifically?

> > I think he means you need to 'open the doors of your
> > perception', a la Huxley. I believe AdMan has broken the
> > hinges off his.

> Praise the Lord and pass the mescaline.

======

In the category "The usual suspects"

> > What exactly happens in a 'community ravaged by Darwinism'? I'm just
> > glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that.

> It isn't a pretty sight. Teenagers drop out of med school in excellent
> universities to study theology in second rate institutions further
> south. Adults give up their day jobs to observe barnacles very
> closely, many of them disappear on long journeys doing "bird
> spotting". When they come back, they bring hundreds of stuffed
> specimen, and nobody knows where to put them.The mantelpieces are
> packed full with them already. They then become ill for a long time,
> nobody knows why.

> Nobody has a cure, though the infection correlates closely with
> "curiosity", "high IQ" and "education" which is why a strong dose of
> religious fundamentalism is recommended as cure, as it attacks
> immediately all three of them, dealing with the root causes.

======

> > > > From a BBC article on the US couple who prayed for their sick daughter
> > > > instead of getting medical aid for herhttp://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8294225.stm

> > > > "My client sees spiritual treatment as the proper medicine and I
> > > > suspect the people who want harsher punishment see Western medicine as
> > > > the proper medicine, I guess therein lies the difference," "My
> > > > clients just happen to have a belief that is very outside of our
> > > > social norm."

> > > > Just ignore the whole concept of evidence, one "belief" guaranteed her
> > > > a painful death; the other "belief" would have saved her and allowed
> > > > her to live a long and normal life.

> > > > Pitiful.

> > > I am always confused by this sort of thing. I doubt that these people
> > > wanted their daughter to die, and toward that end probably do most of
> > > the things the rest of us do to protect our children. They give them
> > > food and water rather than pray that the Lord nourish them. If the
> > > child falls into a pool I'm sure they pull the child out rather than
> > > pray for the child to float. They keep their children away from fire
> > > and busy streets rather than praying for them to be flameproof and
> > > truck-proof. And I'll bet they bandage a bleeding wound much the same
> > > way as anyone else would.

> > > The only difference I can see is the time factor. Things that kill
> > > quickly are treated with common-sense remedies. Things that kill
> > > slowly are treated with prayer.

> > How does that joke go?

> > A Christian hears a knock on the door. It is his neighbor, warning
> > him that a flood is coming and urging him to evacuate.

> > "Never mind," said the Christian, "I will pray to God and he will
> > spare me."

> > Later, the flood comes and the Christian has to climb onto his roof to
> > avoid being swept away. A man comes in a rowboat to save him.

> > "Don't bother," said the Christian, "I will pray to God and he will
> > spare me."

> > Later, the waters continue to rise and the man has to stand on his
> > chimney. A heliocopter comes by to rescue him. The Christian waves
> > him away.

> > "God is just testing my faith. I will pray to Him and he will spare
> > me."

> > The heliocopter leaves and the Christian drowns.

> > Later, in heaven, the Chrisitan says to God "Why didn't you answer my
> > prayers?"

> > God said "I sent your neighbor and a rowboat and a helicopter, what
> > more do you want?"

> Does God let people who are that stupid into Heaven?

He has to. There's a quota.

======

>>> > A Martian monster-dog?

>>> > Labelled:
>>> >http://www.wretch.cc/album/show.php?i=lin440315&b=20&f=1555999737&p=88
>>> > Original:
>>> >http://www.flickr.com/photos/hortonheardawho/3979083408/

>>> > A Martian monster-dog?

>>> > Labelled:
>>> >http://www.wretch.cc/album/show.php?i=lin440315&b=20&f=1555999737&p=88
>>> > Original:
>>> >http://www.flickr.com/photos/hortonheardawho/3979083408/

>>> Oh look! It's a rock!

>>I will show you its Haversian canals in due time.

> There are no canals on Mars; Schiaparelli, Havers and Lowell all
> recanted on their deathbeds.

Nice interdisciplinary gag.

======

In the "what the hell did he say?" category:

>The only one narrow minded and ignorant are those that cannot see the
>potiential for widespread misuse on an apocalyptic scale with this
>technology.

======

Category: Irony is dead

> Do you think people such as General Alexander Haig, Donald Rumsfeld
> and Henery Kissinger would lie?

> WHY?

======

In the "questionable faith" category:

>> >What do you have faith in?

>> That evidence means something.

>Yes, if only we knew what,

======

In the, 'astonishingly obvious garrulity' category:

>since you obviously did not get the obvious drift (obvious
>because it is quite obvious that I did not mean it to be literally
>true; it is more a way that we humans say to get their point through).

======

In the category of "King of Swing does the Carpenters":

>> It has been claimed that the source was the Big Bang.

> And the Big Band can never be nailed down. For one thing, what
> would you
> nail it to?

======

In the 'So THAT'S what it is' department:

> My girlfriend has been going through heliopause, and her disposition
> is anything but sunny!

======

>There were a lot of messianic prophets around at the time (presumably
>because all the events occurred around a millenium boundary).

I presume that you were being facetious, but still ...

======

In the stunning lack of imagination category

>I never heard of a person write two books at one time...

======

In the category of The Wild Hunt:

> >I never heard of a person write two books at one time...

> Your ignorance does not control reality; many prolific
> authors write multiple books simultaneously.

> >somebody is giving me the run around...

> I think that's your tail. Stop chasing it.

======

In the catagory of: Making yourself understandable with language:

> I know that language is not your native language but
> do try to make your self understandable.

======

>> 1) A true theist believes the bible

======

An amazing revelation:

>What I described IS IN THE TORA, which is AKA as "the bible" in
>western world.

======

In the Russell's Paradox & Ignorance of One's Own Proof Text
Categories:

> > An amazing revelation:

> > >What I described IS IN THE TORA, which is AKA as "the bible" in
> > >western world.- Hide quoted text -

> oh my you ARE an Idiot...the Torah is one of the books in the
> christian bible

======

File under "iterative, recursive, closed-curve,
N-space, N-spherical, totally clue-reflective, sugar
frosted fool":

>>> An amazing revelation:

>>>> What I described IS IN THE TORA, which is AKA
>>>> as "the bible" in western world.

Well, no.

>> oh my you ARE an Idiot...the Torah is one of the
>> books in the christian bible.

Well, no.

> EXACTLY
> And ALL OF THE BOOKS TOGETHER ARE KNOWN AS:
> "THE BIBLE"

Well, no, not usually, and it is also unclear,
as depending on prior errors, just which "all of
the books" you mean.

"All of the books in the bible are known as 'The
Bible'" is a tautological claim only an
acephalic individual on total life support would
make.

"All of the books in the Torah are known as "The
Bible" is flatly false, they are instead (also)
known as "The Pentateuch".

Given that the offender was replying to, and thus
cheering on, his own previous also erroneous
posting, which in turn was cheering on his nested
prior also erroneous posting.

Given that, multiply challenged on his facts, the
offender was _still_ too lazy / stubborn / stupid /
arrogant to do something simple like, say:

http://www.google.com/search?q=define%3Atorah

Given that this posting now makes this "even a
brickbat to the head isn't enough" idiocy by the
offender two Chez Watts deep, and three instances of
an insistent error by the offender, morphed for each
posting into a different error, deep, and probably,
that no possible response from any source would be
enough of a clue to the clue-proof offender.

I suggest the above for the "'Short Bus Special
Achievement' Chez Watt Award of the Month".

But what do I know?

======

Nominated in the "Gallileo, never heard of him" category

> No one was ever bullied or fired for challenging heliocentric. I can't
> say the same for evolution. Each and every day tt seems someone
> somewhere is being threatened if they challenge evolution. Even in
> other countries. Why is that?

======

File in the category: What's your name

> On ted, someone have invented a chip that can identify, any known
> virus, and any *unknown* virus, simply by placing a specimen on the
> chip.

======

In the category of "Executive Priorities"

> You could make an
> argument for a Creator who was working on a deadline with a tight
> budget, but then why not just go the evolutionary route and spend
> the rest of the budget on really nice office furniture?

======

There's what I believe and what I don't.

> Its not that complicated since there are only two religions
> on earth.

======

In the category of bin and hex:

>Now, how am I ignorant of my own religion. Its not that complicated
>since there are only two religions on earth.

======

In the Nothing Human is Alien dept...

> Oh I wish I were a Juvenal delinquent,
> That is what I truly want to be.
> Cuz if I were a Juvenal delinquent,
> Timor mortis non conturbat me.

======

Confirming the Irrelevance of Design:

> As far as evidence of something that is NOT designed, well, since God
> created everything there is nothing that He Did Not Design.

======

>> Then you need to work on your mocking skills. How do you really think
>> Darwin's finches got to the Galapagos? Isn't it an interesting
>> coincidence that every Galapagos bird species has a close relative
>> either in the South American mainland or, for the finches, in the
>> Caribbean?

> There you go, you see. It's more than a coincidence: it's the smoking
> gun.

> Darwin never even _went_ to the Galapagos: nobody could even have found
> tiny islands like that with sailing-ship navigation instruments, so he
> and Captain Fitzroy, who, it is well known, was bitterly and publicly
> opposed to the notion of evolution by natural selection, cooked up this
> cock-and-bull story for the ship's log, while simply cruising gently up
> and down the coast of the mainland.

> Darwin took the opportunity of trips ashore to collect the birds you
> refer to, in addition to the ones he had already secured in the
> Caribbean. These specimens he used to form the basis of his planned
> attack on Christianity, by carefully choosing atypical examples whose
> features fitted his hoax.

> His motivation was partly hostility to God, and partly a craving for
> limelight in compensation for his never having been able to stick at
> anything for long. This underachiever had taken two tries at education
> in separate universities, at the first of which he frittered away his
> time in hunting; and while at the second he spent long periods in the
> low company of taxidermists and the like.

> The nervous strain imposed by living this continuous lie had obvious
> effects on his behaviour and health. Darwin is well known to have
> suffered from hysterical psychosomatic digestive disorders, married his
> first cousin, went prematurely bald and tried neurotically to compensate
> by growing an enormous beard, and spent much of the rest of his days
> studying earthworms and hunting wild dogs. Fortunately for the peace of
> his soul, he recanted on his deathbed and was therefore buried in St
> Paul's Cathedral, or Westminster Abbey, as it is better known.

I want to be the first to nominate this. I wish I had said "the low
company of texidermists", that's an elegant phrase.

======

In the category of "The Inmates Have Assumed Control (aka "I'm
CHEZ'ing the
entire thread thus far")

>> > > The Roman soldiers come up to Jesus and say, "Who are you?" And he
>> > > answers, "The Son of God, King of the Jews," and other nonsense.

>> > Jesus said no such thing to the roman soldiers k0ok.

>> > [cut rest of nonsense]

>> Here, let me translate the kO0K

>> "The Roman soldier" = "Pontius Pilate"

>> "come up to Jesus" = "came to Jesus"

>> "and say" = "and said"

>> "and he answers" = "and he answered"

>> Now, the actual verbal communication is a bit *off* too.

>> For example:

>> "Who are you" = "are you a king?"

>> and

>> "The Son of God, King of the Jews," and other nonsense." = "no"

>> Oh before I forget.

>> "ComandanteBanana" = "BananaBrain"

> That is a fitting description for a soft brain

Afterword: Is this a portent of things to come, like when the sane
regular
decide to give up on the group and leave the trolls and resident kooks
to
converse amongst themselves? The future of this group is bleak.

======

In the "Gospel According to Crocoduck" category:

> Where are
> the missing Bibles, written half in Aramaic and half in English?

======

Filed under "I know how to deal with the likes of you:"

>>> This is so you can place my arguments now in the right context.

>> Done.

> You forgot to flush.....

======

>>> This groups too stressful.
>>> I'm out. By!

>> It is fitting that your last word before running away is
>> a mispelling.

> It is also fitting that you missspel misspelling. Just trying to help
> him not feell allone I gues.

This is hilarious. Join the group of illiterates as you also
misspelled
"misspell."

======

In the self-referential oblivion category:

> >>> This groups too stressful.
> >>> I'm out. By!

> >> It is fitting that your last word before running away is
> >> a mispelling.

> > It is also fitting that you missspel misspelling. Just trying to help
> > him not feell allone I gues.

> This is hilarious. Join the group of illiterates as you also misspelled
> "misspell."

======

In the "severe perturbations in the fabric of spacetime" category,

> If Arthur C. Clarke was predicting the
>moonlandings before they actually happened, then
>he would be unaware of the moonlandings at the time,
>since they had not yet taken place.

======

Under Strains for the Strange

> They're stupid and they're loony,
> They're ignorant and fumey,
> They're all together screwy,
> The god-smacked idiots.
> Their brain are out to lunchen
> and people never see 'em
> They really are a scream
> The god-smacked idiots.
> (Fools!)
> (Jerks!)
> (Twits!)
> So get a chalkboard you can draw on
> A notebook you can scrawl on
> We're gonna pay a call on
> The god-smacked idiots.

======

In the "whose fuck face is he the son of?" category,

>Satan is not one of the sons of one of the gods fuck face.
>You are biblically illiterate or a deliberate lier.

======

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